Last week my best friend, Jack Lemmon, called me concerned: “Do you know there are people on the Internet saying horrible things about you?” I told her that I did know, yes.
“Do you know who they are?”
No, I have no idea I told her. What shocked me more than anything was that my friend Googled me in her spare time. She doesn’t quite believe that the Internet is indeed a very small place, but it is regardless of if she believes it or not. Was I pissed? Sure. But I currently live in a basement and, coupled with my Literature degree, I am very aware of how my life falls right into a joke. Comments on my pathetic loserness are pretty much a given.
Could Get Off My Internets have come up with something better than Six Year ASS Itch? For sure. That is something that put a little bit more sand in my vagina.
Over the weekend Get Off My Internets (GOMI); the snark site and forum dedicated to ripping bloggers a new asshole was threatened with closure after Federated Media pulled their ads. GOMI supporters rallied and raised thousands to keep the website and the forums running for the foreseeable future.
How do I feel about this? Is GOMI hate or criticism? Bullying or snark? Necessary or just evil?
I have friends that would dance on the grave of GOMI and there are people I really respect as writers that view the site and its forums as a necessary evil. Until this weekend, I took a very meh attitude about it. I did block direct links to The Six Year Itch from GOMI, but that was about it.
Rather than wade into a debate about criticism verses snark, I would rather focus on three four things:
- Why is there no male equivalent to GOMI?
- Bloggers, again, need to cut the shit with personal branding
- Not everyone will like you; proceed accordingly
- I’ll clear up some things that were mentioned in Six Year ASS Itch
GOMI is not the only place where women feel the need to “expose” other women for their inconsistencies or to “bring them down a peg.” This is, unfortunately, how women interact with one another. On the one hand we’re supposed to be polite and likable and then on the other we claw the fuck out of each other. I don’t get it and never have. Bitches will cut you wherever they congregate. Honestly, join Girl Scouts and you’ll have your own local version of GOMI. Whether it’s the office, the Internet, the boardroom (if they’re even there) or Mommy and Me. Men do not do this. They will pull out their dongs and measure and move on. If women spent less time focusing on “exposing” other women, our political capital and power would rise quicker than an over-the-hill guy popping a blue tablet.
I am in a small minority (which also happens to be the right one) that bloggers who consider themselves brands are bullshit. You know what happens when you write about “personal branding” beyond looking like a pompous jackwad: customer service comes home to roost. Bloggers are people, not products. To transform oneself into a brand, you must reach Oprah status and no one in blogging has done that. NO ONE. I am not a brand, I am a writer that uses the platform (online publishing) as a means to an end (a book). When a blogger is consumed as a brand, consider yourself about to be Yelped. This means that the way a consumer freaks out about a downed power line or inflated cable bills: that’s what you have to look forward to. Proceed with caution because this is the new byproduct of becoming a blogger.
As Jessica Valenti so aptly wrote: we don’t need everyone to like us, we need a few people to love us. That is an important distinction. Yes, there needs to be a shift in how women interact with one another and how powerful women are viewed, but we also need to do the hard work in not caring so damn much when people do not like us. If it’s libel, lawyer up. Threatening behavior? Do the same and begin by filing a police report.
Over at GOMI, there are a few untruths I would like to personally clear up:
- There are worse things that I could be called then Cecily, Jr. She is a friend and I love her dearly. Our similarities begin and end with being two fat women who live in Philadelphia. I no longer have red hair.
- The post that won BlogHer Voices of the Year had absolutely nothing to do with adoption. It had to do with slut-shaming and empowering girls. You can read it here.
- Last summer was the most terrifying time of my life. I am not pampered or lazy. To make ends meet, I have cleaned houses, I have worked minimum wage jobs, I have tutored students for their GED and more. I have literally cleaned other people’s shit to provide and that should speak for itself. I am thankful everyday for the people who cared enough to help me.
- I took the criticism to heart in this post and know that my daughter deserves to meet me and that it’s “not about me.” It came out of a very real conversation I had with a friend. This is the first place I have ever written openly about adoption and until I did, I never met or had spoken with another birth mother. Adoption is complicated and it’s very easy to judge me. I will proceed how I want to regardless of what others think, feel or write on the Internet.
- My iPad was a gift, I did not buy it. My BlogHer trip was paid by a job.
- I eat my feelings, it’s well documented.
- My 25,000 “talking about this on Facebook” is from this picture. Not GOMI.
- The anonymous poster that started the Six Year ASS Itch GOMI thread can feel free to say this shit to my face during our next Philly Moms event. Grow a pair. No one uses “bimbo” to describe me you fucking idiot. Other than that, all the rest of it: carry on.
You constantly amaze me, Liz, with your ability to roll with the punches. You are so much better at that shit than I am. Love you, girl.
Cecily recently posted..Porcupine
Where is the male equivalent?
It sucks that there is so much hate and snark.
Again, if you don’t mind a bad ass cat, kid with tude and a junky house, come on over!
Rachee recently posted..Keep the Date with #TBCCrafters
What about – oh – hmmmmm…. Theatre critics for the….hmmm….New York Times? They are still mostly white males.
They write VICIOUS things on a daily basis and earn tremendous amounts of money and acclaim for doing so. They make personal attacks on people who have made tremendous sacrifices, some for many years, to train for their profession.
They can close a play with several paragraphs. Who knows the good or great actors we might have seen and enjoyed had they not been chosen to be in Play 1 that flopped. Actors are not all Katie Holmes, who will live in luxury the rest of her life after being selected to become the bride of an A-lister. Some will be waiting tables again on Monday and never get another chance to tread the sacrosanct Broadway boards.
Yet these men and the few women who do it are lionized. Nobody tries to get them fired. Nobody tries to cut off THEIR livelihood. Nobody writes hate pieces about them and accuses them of “spewing hatred and negativity into the world.”
Why folks? Why are paid critics given a free rein to rip a play or movie or book or what have you to shreds, destroying dreams, and most DEFINITELY having a detrimental affect on the paychecks of MANY people?
I might respectfully suggest that there exists a double standard.
I might also suggest that bloggers like Jenny are absolutely correct. Hell, consider it free market research. Thousands of contributors are earning nothing and some of them are posting some pretty thoughtful commentary.
One more thing. If bloggers want to avoid being the stars of GOMI ( ps! Didja know that some of them start their OWN threads? …. They need to stop ALL censoring of comments on their posts (except of course for the very small number of crazies out there).
Cecily, I used to read you every day with my coffee. You had the greatest comments ever once upon a time. Lively discussions went on and on and on. You met people halfway. I even remember one radio pro-lifer who became friends with you. I still point to your old, excellent blog when friends IRL sneer at abortions because of the health of the mother. 75% of my friends-most with excellent educations–have no idea that moms DO die or suffer lifelong physical illnesses because of sick babies they wish fervently to carry to term.
idk when it happened, but almost ALL of the GOMI “stars” have censored comments to the point that thei comments are simply YOU GO GIRL ass kissing. How many people have posted o. GOMI saying that Blogger A refused to post or instantly deleted even the MILDEST criticism, suggestions, etc.
TL;DR. Allow airspace on your blog for constructive criticism and be the old time bloggers you all were once, when your blog was more than a bully pulpit for YOUR VIEWS NO DISSENT ALLOWED. Ya wanna really stick it to GOMI?
Here’s the horse and there is the water.
Love you, Girl.
Jessica @FoundtheMarbles recently posted..How to Make This the Year of the Woman
I really admire that you didn’t post a generic “GOMI sucks” post but wrote thoughtfully about it. I’m not sure I agree that men don’t behave similarly. Maybe w/ other men they measure & move on, but I’ve had a few attempted efforts to sabotage me by men at work. Maybe I’m the exception that proves the rule though :-/
KeAnne recently posted..Anger, Whining, Cuddly Purgatory & the Star Chart
Screw it. I had a long comment typed up but it boils down to this:
If you weren’t a threat, they wouldn’t be talking about you. Keep up the good work and I’ll happily purchase any book you write. You’re awesome and we all know it. They just hate that they’re not.
Katy recently posted..Sometimes….
I want to be you 17 years ago. Seriously.
This is a brilliant post. Can I just cut and paste? Okay, shit, I’ll link.
You rock my world, girl.
Julia Roberts recently posted..Spoken in the Mutant Family Household, Holiday Special
Honestly? I think these bitches have nothing better to do with their miserable lives than talk shit. They’re anonymous, hidden by a screenname thinking they’re bad ass criticizing everything right on down to the color of your hair. It’s ridiculous.
I can understand VALID and constructive criticism but saying you’re rude or a smug bitch without even knowing you PERSONALLY in real life? Fuck that. I don’t know you personally and there may very well be aspects of you I think make you look like a self-righteous Can’t Understand Normal Thinking type, but online? I only know by what I read. And what I read from you is that you are an amazing, talented, intelligent, and decent human.
Honestly, GOMI is more of a site for shit talking by people who are lonely, miserable, and overall pathetic. They don’t strike me as the type of people who are capable of intelligent enough thought to provide valuable critique.
And my first and last paragraphs are redundant. *head desk*
This post is awesome. I really feel like you hit upon a few things very few of us (us being the lady bloggers) is why is it that women have the need to bring each other down. I don’t imagine male bloggers spend nearly as much time as women bloggers do discussing what others think of them, say of them, etc.
The other thing is it does indeed seem that the dark side of becoming a brand is that you open yourself up in ways no one can imagine. Which lends credence to the idea that the blogger as a brand is just a bad a idea. Anyway kudos on a wonderful post that leaves a lot to digest.
Blackgirlinmaine recently posted..Letting go and going to Chicago
Great post, Liz. I wish more people would consider the “you are not your brand” approach. It certainly would make it a lot easier to categorize the criticism. Anyway, keep doing your thing, girl.
Brandi recently posted..Teaching Preschoolers About Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I love you. I BEGGED your ass for the donate button. I was thankful and proud to support a writer that I deeply respect. You are the cutest Cecily Jr. EVER
Jasmine recently posted..What My Momma Taught Me About Sexual Orientation
See, when I realized all the horseshit they were saying about me were nothing but lies, that’s when I was able to laugh that place off. It’s AMAZING the energy they put into spinning fairy tales. I’ve seen them telling each other stories about things I supposedly said that NEVER.HAPPENED. And that’s how I know that they don’t know a single thing about me. Anyone who’s ever met me could probably discount 90% of the trash spewed on there. Honestly, at this point, I just assume they’re talking about somebody else. The Feminist Breeder that I know has never done or said pretty much anything they’ve conjured up over there, so they can’t be talking about me. If they are, it’s some version of me that they’ve fabricated – not the REAL me. So meh. Who cares.
TheFeministBreeder recently posted..Things To Do While You’re Pregnant – Part IV
I work in a male dominated field ( am a woman). Based on that limited exposure I can say that men shit- talk and gossip about one another just as much if not more than women. The business conferences I’ve attended are alcohol fueled and very cliquey. I also frequent a bunch of different Internet college football forums and blogs and they also shit- talk there. Not to say that what GOMI does is right or anonymous nastyness is the way to go, but it’s not just women.
yeah, there are a number of forums primarily visited by men that say way worse things than GOMI ever has. there are male equivalents to GOMI if you know where to look.
Seems to me that if your traffic is good, your writing on-point, and your business doing well, shitting on other people at GOMI doesn’t factor into your equation. That says pretty much everything you need to know about what the fuck is going on over there. Bunch of idiots faffing about, bitching about successful people because they don’t have what it takes, don’t know how to get it, and couldn’t even if they knew or tried. Boring and predictable.
This is amazing. I agree with Julia and with Katy. They wouldn’t be writing about you if you weren’t perceived as a threat to their own opinion of their magnificence. It’s their negative self esteem that’s causing the bullying. We never grow out of it – even when we’re no longer in grade school.
You ROCK and I love you. Will we always agree about everything? Heck no. But it doesn’t matter.
And I so agree that I don’t want my blog to be a “brand” either. Like someone said, I will happily buy any book you write.
Monika recently posted..How Young is Too Young?
I actually came here from GOMI to read this post as it was mentioned in a comment on the leading article. For the record, while I quite enjoy GOMI, I am neither lonely, miserable, nor pathetic and I believe that I am capable of intelligent thought despite what one of the commenters here said. But I am not here to start a debate with your readers.
I just wanted to say that this was inciteful and well written and I agree with you wholeheartedly. Having perused your site, I like what I have seen and you have gained a new reader.
Meems,
I admire you for your comment here (and I totally agree with it). Not everyone that frequents GOMI follows the pack mentality of name-calling and over-generalizing. What stinks about that place though is that while it possible COULD be as respected as a NYT play critic, there are members there that are seriously holding it back. I’ve read some funny tongue-in-cheek articles on their main page. Then, the a few in the forums and comments ruin it for me. I don’t go back because “what a fat slob” or “she is a fucking idiot” are comments that were made to me when I was bullied in high school. Why would I want to put myself in a place like that again?
Until GOMI stops with the personal attacks, I can’t respect it.
Annie recently posted..Red AppleCheeks #Giveaway from @TopToBottomBaby #clothdiapers
What a thought-provoking post. Your point about the problems with the blog(ger) as a brand was particularly fascinating.
Do you advise bloggers to be less like a persona? Oprah was/is a brand mostly based on a persona: she’s likeable/aspirational. I agree there’s no one like that in the blogging world. But I wonder how you think someone like Pioneer Woman, who is more about instructing people on how to cook, how to photograph, homeschool etc, (kind of the Martha Stewart model rather than the Oprah model) will fare. Since a blog like that is less about someone’s personality and more about his/her skills, perhaps the customer reviews would be less harsh?
Jjiraffe recently posted..Kinfolk Magazine and The New American Aesthetic
I wonder if they spend the same amount of time analyzing their own stats, as they do yours? I will say, I am surprised and saddened by GOMI’s staying power. That’s an awful lot of hate. I’ve known of lots of other similar hater sites for different things over the years, and this one is still around. The others, presumably run by sane people just in a bad way or negative rut, went dead after a while. Turns out they weren’t interested in hating others as a full time job, but not this group.
I have a personal rule that I don’t do anything, in life or online, that I wouldn’t want my hubby and kids to know about–or that I wouldn’t be completely embarrassed if my family found out, ya know? I think that’s a pretty good gauge of what is normal behavior.
In other news, you should go buy the domain name Two Fat Women in Philadelphia.
Lisa recently posted..{Fun Friday post} my Howard Stern Twitter problem
High five, mama. My only complaint about this is that I clicked on GOMI (I never heard of it before this) and I hate to feed trolls pageviews.
Keep doing your thing. I love reading your stuff.
My WWII generation now passed father had a saying that applies to you
“That broad chews nails and spits rust”
You are amazing.
This post is 100% spot on.
Jo-Ann recently posted..A glimpse into the past
This is why you rock my world. Why do we insist on tearing each other apart, when the whole world does it to us?
Michelle recently posted..Mike isn’t 18 anymore.
Someone called you pampered and lazy? Really? There are a lot of blogs I don’t read because they seem cookie cutter or are written by people that I would never be able to relate in real life. The first time I read your blog I was impressed because you seemed so down to earth and someone I could relate to. However, there are always going to be haters in the world who have no awesomeness so they have to tear down others and hide behind their computers.
lesa recently posted..You break it, he fixes it!
Lots of good points. I, personally, am okay with GOMI and I’ve had good and bad things said about me there. Some had legitimate points and made me reexamine what I’m doing and made me a better writer. Some were kind and made me realize what people like. Some were batshit crazy and I ignored them. (I think even the people on GOMI would agree that some of their commenters are insane.) But they’re nothing compared to the criticism that comes when one of my posts makes it to the front page of Fark or Reddit. Those are male-dominated site and although I’m a fan of both they are filled with people who send horrible death threats and scream “whore” at me simply because I wrote something that got attention.
Gawker is similar. I’ve been covered by them numerous times and sometimes the writer loves me and sometimes they hate me. Sometimes they’re right and sometimes they’re totally wrong, but criticism exists everywhere and if you aren’t doing something that *someone* hates you probably aren’t doing anything.
My editor told me that the secret to success was having someone else read your criticism and letting them tell you if there’s something that’s legit that you need to be concerned about so that they can weed out the crazies without emotion. It’s a good idea to let a good friend read that stuff for you and let you know if there are recurring issues you might want to address or fix. That way you can fix the problem or miscommunication if there is one, but you aren’t subjected to the one or two crazies out there who are just insane but will get into your mind and make you doubt everything.
My point is that it’s easy to focus on GOMI because they’re mainly girl-based and focused on other girls, but even if they were gone you’ll still have tremendous criticisms (some critical and helpful and some completely off base) that exist, so I think rather than focus of stopping the criticism (which will never happen) we need to focus on how we deal with that criticism. When do we listen? When do we ignore? How do we (individually) find the best way to deal with criticism in a way that makes us better people/writers? I think that’s a discussion that needs to happen as more people start to have to deal with more focused criticism, unsolicited feedback and (occasionally) mean-spirited and wrong bullshit. It’s the hard part of being a writer, but in my opinion it’s just part of the job.
I’m going to stop talking now.
LOVE THIS COMMENT!!! Jenny, you are amazing. I knew that before, but this comment says exactly what I was thinking too.
And now I want to write something that gets a reaction out of someone cause right now? I am doing nothing. And I needed the kick in the pants
Annie recently posted..Red AppleCheeks #Giveaway from @TopToBottomBaby #clothdiapers
I so love everything you wrote here and I am definitely a new fan of yours. (I’ve been AWOL from reading blogs for a couple of years but I’m booting my feedreader back up and you are the inspiration!)
I also love what Meems wrote because it’s the most mean-spirited, ugly talkers who are getting the GOMI press but I do believe that there are other reasonable people who are lurking there and sometimes posting. That’s why I think that just blasting them or trying to shut them down won’t address the issue in the long run, which is that whole branding thing you’re talking about. Clearly there are people who think that blogging (in general and specifically) has jumped the shark. I’m not sure what bloggers should do about the backlash and surely there’s not one right answer for every blogger but I do think that we need to have an honest discussion about it that doesn’t devolve into more us vs. them. The atmosphere that exists over at GOMI (no, not from every poster but certainly there is a lot of seriously ugly language and sentiment over there) makes it hard not to react viscerally so I’m glad that there are nuanced posts like this one that can help us talk about reader frustrations and how bloggers can learn from them. Thank you for writing it!
Dawn recently posted..All Adoption Support Group Now Monthly
You are awesome! If I didn’t like what you wrote about on your blog, I would stop reading it. Simple as that. It’s like watching TV. If you hate a show, turn the shit off.
Great post. I like your voice. I’m a habitual train wreck watcher in the “can’t look away” sense, but I have seen some threads on GOMI where it is apparent these woman are excellent critical thinkers and also enjoy, much as many of us do, the occasional snark. Most of us – even bloggers who complain about being criticized – snark on others. Of course we do. usually when we’re in the safety of our circle of friends. We make fun of the crazy lady at the bus station with her weird outfit, or we trash Angelina for stealing Brad even though its been long enough that it really shouldn’t be snark-worthy anymore. GOMI has its share of people who really do go overboard with the body criticism and hating some bloggers so much that they get a little scary. But I’ve also seen people who have pointed out things I agree with: hypocrisy on the part of certain bloggers, sharing information about their children that will surely haunt them; bloggers who shut down any form of disagreement in their comments, the apparent lack of research various marketing companies do when choosing which bloggers to partner with various corporate entities. It baffles me, particularly as a blogger, that people who would choose to share so much in public would be so sensitive to any criticism whatsoever.
My friends trust me to call bullshit on them when its deserved; and I’ll accept criticism on my blog. I might not agree with it, I certainly don’t enjoy it, but blog criticism is so much less important and so much easier to cope with than, say, when I act like a sarcastic bitch to my husband and he points it out and I have to eat crow. THAT hurts. And I’ve found personally that criticism that hurts is either something I should pay attention to because its probably true, or it has hit on some inner shame mechanism I need to delve into further. Body snarkingm, now, that just pisses me off. Calling someone fat is about as stupid and low as you can get, and whether its a GOMI commenter or a blogger complaining about GOMI I see the word “fat” getting tossed around A LOT. If you can’t find something more creative and intelligent to say than that, please do us all a favor and take your writing skills off the damn internet.
When I first began writing online I used my kids’ actual names. A couple of years ago when Poop on Peeps was still alive I went over there to white knight it up over a blogger I liked who was getting trashed. Then I read some really good criticism of why and how outing your children on line can hurt your kids if you go about it in the wrong way. And since I write about my kids’ medical issues – a fun mixed bag of ADHD, autism, SPD and what-have-you – I realized that I could be hurting them by identifying them online. I went back through every post and replaced names with pseudonyms. My husband loves it when I post about him, but I still don’t use his name on my blog. He has a fairly high government security clearance and does jobs at places you need that; no one doing a background check on him needs to read about his private life via my blog.
This post and Jenny’s comment on it are probably the best responses I’ve yet seen about GOMI. You didn’t just resort to calling them trolls or bullies; you discussed the bigger issues of bloggers & branding, the fine line between criticism and hate adn teh value of the former, and you showed us the most excellent skillset of learning to take what helps and tell the rest of them to go fuck off. Well done. You’ve gained another reader.
Barnmaven recently posted..Girl things
obviously I need to start going to Philly mom blog events again so I can meet your awesomeness!
Kristine recently posted..The day I (almost) blew the tooth fairy.
Hi! I have never before read your blog, but I DO read (and occasionally post on) GOMI, and I actually found your blog by Googling for GOMI. (I always just Google and then click on the link that comes up.) The link to this post is one of the top results.
I also admire that this was a thoughtful post and not a knee-jerk “GOMI Sucks” post. The one thing I question (or, I should say, have already given some thought to, and again wonder about since you wrote this) is the idea of this being a women-only issue. First of all, I’m sure there actually ARE some men posting at GOMI. But second, the genres which are being criticized (healthy living, DIY, lifestyle, mommy blogs, etc.) are almost exclusively written by women, and read by women (and some gay men.) I’m not convinced that the reason no “male equivalent” exists is that women like to tear each other down and men don’t. Maybe some male equivalent does exist – the main reason most of us know about GOMI is that we read the blogs which are critiqued there, or write blogs which are critiqued there. Maybe if we were reading “man blogs,” we’d be led to some male equivalent.
But… what are man blogs? There are certainly male bloggers, but with few exceptions, every one I have come across is either about some subject completely outside the blogger (business, movies, whatever) or they’re comedic (Stuff White People Like) or sarcastic. I just don’t see male bloggers chronicling their lives, or what they want people to think are their lives, the way women do. There are a few, like Unabashedly Prep, and believe me, they get torn apart on GOMI too. I’d say this is a “chicken or egg” issue, and if anything, what is so women-only here is a certain form of narcissism and desire for exposure which is rampant among young women and less prevalent among men. (Certainly there are plenty of male narcissists, too, but it manifests itself in personal blogs less often.)
Then, since women are the main readers of these blogs which are primarily written by women, criticism of them appears to be an issue of women liking to tear down other women.
Also, just to defend my posting on GOMI… one of the trends which has TRULY disturbed me is the idea that constructive criticism, or even mere disagreement, is “hateful” or “trolling.” More bloggers than I can count moderate their comments heavily. If you dare disagree, even to say that you’re not sure something a food blogger cooks looks very tasty, or a dress a blogger is advertising is a nice style, you’re virtually run out of town. Some bloggers DO blatantly lie, or misrepresent, and if you know something about the topic/location/event whatever about which they are writing, and you make any comment which even respectfully exposes an inconsistency, the comment will not be published. Or, it will be published if the blogger likes having an opportunity to write a “clever” bitchy comeback, to then have her minions rally around her and bully the initial commenter. (That leads me to a thought… the bullying which goes on in comments sections of some blogs if a commenter dares disagree with the crowd.)
People shouldn’t WANT everyone to agree with them and tell them what they want to hear. If no one ever disagreed or questioned anything, lots of bad ideas would be implemented. Businesses would fail left and right. Structurally unsound buildings and bridges would be built. There would be no progress. The trend among young women to thoughtlessly agree, often in terms like, “OMG, that’s so awesome, I would like totally wear that because it’s like totally so cute! xoxo,” is disturbing. The majority of commenters seem to be sycophants who want to drive traffic to their own blogs, and the rest just misguidedly think that disagreeing is “not nice.”
THAT is why I started reading and sometimes commenting on GOMI. It was nice to have an outlet where you could say, hey, you know what, this person is a total phony and her regular commenters are a bunch of jerks.
(Again, for the record, I only just found your blog, so none of what I have written is alluding to anything on your blog.)
You know what I wonder? WHY does someone feel the need to comment on a stranger’s post (like something they’ve cooked that they’re obviously proud of) just to say you don’t like it. Do you walk through a department store writing “Ugly, hate it” on the tags of every dress you don’t like? Do you sit at dinner in someone’s home and say, “Sorry but I don’t like what you served me” when your host was merely trying to be hospitable? I’m actually NOT the kind of person who snarks behind everyone’s back. I really don’t even do it about celebrities. It is a VERY rare occasion that I have any opinion at all about what a celebrity does unless I think it actually has some impact on my world. For example, bloggers who rant unintelligently about my field of expertise (maternal child health) will find me disagreeing with them. But I’m not running all over the internet starting hate sites about them PERSONALLY and attacking them in a cowardly fashion on forums. What do people get out of that? Is the blogger who cooks something you don’t like actually hurting you in some way? No? Then why be rude to them? What, exactly, do you get out of that?
TheFeministBreeder recently posted..Shark Teeth and Tooth Fairies
Agree with most of what Liz says in her comments above, but also you have a point here. However, there are bloggers who make a lot of money doing their thing, so when commenting on those blogs, it’s not as though you are commenting on some lady’s new sewing project she’s blogging mainly to share with her friends. It’s a different situation.
Commenting that the instructions to a tutorial are incomplete, or that there are typos, on a commercial blog, isn’t rude.
Personally, I’d appreciate someone pointing something like that out for me, if I’d missed it.
But yeah, when someone comments “ugly dress” or “I think your project looks gaudy,” I do wonder why. If someone thinks you need to step up your game, why not instead say, “Usually, you post such beautiful and professional-looking projects, so I was surprised when you posted the star ornament made out of plastic straws. Now you’re posting all of these broaches made out of orange peels and used toothpick and other garbage. I’d love to see you do more of your sewing projects, cause that’s where I think you really shine.”
What, you’ve never disagreed with what someone else on the internet has written and said so? I find that hard to believe.
Barnmaven recently posted..If wishes were fishes
The male equivalent of GOMI is called 4Chan, not to mention there a few varsity posters on GOMI who have penises, not to mention one of the moderators is a man. What sex has to do with anything, I’ll never know. Just like someone criticizing your blog is only valid if they put their name, address and SS# on their post. Anonymous or not, you’re still a navel gazing attention whore. (You in the general sense, or better yet, looking at YOU, CECILY).
Great post and comments. There will always be people who seek to piss in your Honey Combs (I don’t like Cheerios.) I say, learn to acquire the taste for piss and carry on. UNLESS they cost you your livelihood or something horrific like that. That shit is serious. Keep shining and pay no mind to the pissers.