How was your day? I hope it was fabulous.
Now, let’s talk about abortion.
Here’s what I know to be true: 100% of men will never be pregnant. Why then do some insist on assuming that they will? That they can stand up with microphones in their face and unequivocally state, for the record, that “absolutely” there is never a medical instance when abortions save lives.
I’m talking about Joe Walsh, the Tea Party backed Congressman from Illinois. After a debate last night with his opponent, he was asked to clarify his views on abortion. Here is how that went down:
Asked by reporters after the debate if he was saying that it’s never medically necessary to conduct an abortion to save the life of a mother, Walsh responded, “Absolutely.”
“With modern technology and science, you can’t find one instance,” he said. “… There is no such exception as life of the mother, and as far as health of the mother, same thing.”
Cecily from Uppercase Woman was compelled to tell her story about losing one of her twin boys and the other from an abortion that saved her life due to severe preeclampsia. Her story was picked up by USA Today and thankfully it was. Can you imagine what it would be like to continually have to tell the tragic story of your loss because of dip shits like Joe Walsh who, not only will never be pregnant, but also did not go to medical school. And then there are those like Ron Paul who, in fact, did go to medical school, but still believe the same thing. Paul, just like Joe Walsh, will never be pregnant.
Make no mistake about Joe Walsh or men like him. This is about power. Women, for the most part, rarely speak about the abortions they have had. Even though 1 in 3 of us have had them. I am one of them.
When I meet a new girl friend, there isn’t a secret abortion hand shake. But the truth remains that all of us know someone that’s had one or will have an abortion before our childbearing years are over. If you’re doing the mental head shake no, that’s just because she hasn’t told you. We all know someone.
Abortion is a legal medical procedure in the country. It’s also a safe one. And, sometimes, a necessary one that will save the life of the mother.
But make no mistake, mothers should never have to share their heartbreak to convince someone that doesn’t really care. Joe Walsh doesn’t care about Cecily, about me, or even you. What he cares about is himself. He cares about saying just enough to get re-elected so he can erode the reproductive rights women have battled for decades to have and uphold. Women do not need to convince anyone of anything. What we do is up to us and our doctors. Nowhere in that equation is there a politician and his opinion on what’s considered medically necessary.
One of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do was wait for my best friend while she went in for an abortion; I waited in the car, taking care of her two y/o and 7 month old. Second was to be there for my cousin and his girlfriend when they made decision to have one while both in high school. At that that young age, I never imagined making that choice (#1 I was still a virgin, #2 I was naive enough to never have imagined worse case scenario that would put me in position to consider having one). All I could do was be there for people I loved; not make it about my opinion… not judge. They had to do what was the best option at the time for them. They were in pain. I just needed to, in my own way, show them that, no matter what, I love them.
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I used to work at Planned Parenthood as a grant writer and then every Friday I would go up to Abortion Services (where we were paid separately) and badly hold the hands of women who were having abortions. Literally hold their hands. Most of the women were mothers, some were young, some were middle aged, some had terrible stories, some cried and some were eager to not be pregnant. The women were all different colors and from different income levels. The women who were under light sedation needed to have someone with them. A lot had friends just like you and some had friends with their children in the car. That’s what friendship is, right? Just being there.