I used to do FATshion Fridays every Friday.

And then I didn’t.

This was mainly because I didn’t have any style to showcase. Or, at the very least, I felt like I didn’t. There were other things to do: jobs to write for, a kid that needed tending to, a relationship to kinda implode. You know, that stuff.

FATshion got lost in the shuffle, but what that really means is I got lost.

I completely did not realize this until I started shopping last week and I put on my first pair of skinny jeans and tweeted:

Skinny jeans on a chubby like me? Oxymoron.

— Liz Henry (@sixyearitch) July 26, 2012

I immediately wanted to throw out everything I own. Not because of the jeans or the dress or the new undies or the fabulous striped hat that I have always wanted.

Yes, those things are amazing (and if you aren’t following me on Instagram or the Blog’s Facebooke page, you are really missing out), but I realized I want to wear nice things because for the past year I have worn shitty things. My closet, again, is a black hole of I Hate Myself.

Except with pink glitter stilettos somewhere.

I have a closet and drawers and I never use them. All of the clothes I wear reside on — this is not a joke — a Demon Night director’s chair that isn’t even mine. It’s Slasher’s. And I bought it for him a very long time ago, but claimed it as the place where I put the clothes I really wear two years ago.

Back when Slasher and I decided to separate, I looked around at my house and thought: when did my home become his things and my corner? This is exactly how I feel about what I have been wearing.

How can you feel good about yourself when you put shit on every day and try to make it last?

You can’t.

I don’t need to have 65,000 pairs of the same jean like my sister or couture like Carrie Bradshaw, but somewhere in the middle is me.

Even more important is how I feel when I have the clothes off. After the past two weeks, I feel pretty awesome without them on too.

Who knew?

I do this every-so-often. I think we all do.

But this is me saying, where have I been for the past year? And what in the fuck was I wearing?

I did have awesome hair. Gotta give myself that.