Last year I had a neighbor knock on my door. She asked me to come out into the hallway so she could talk to me about what she should do.
“Do I call the police?” she said. “My husband thinks I shouldn’t get involved.”
As I stood in the hallway and listened to her tell me that two children — ages five and three — had been outside all afternoon by themselves, I knew she had come to the right person. She had assessed my character correctly and by extension her own limitations: she didn’t want to cause trouble in her relationship, but knew she had to do something too. And that was finding someone who would call the police.
Which I did, after I knocked on the apartment door and confirmed that these two small children were indeed left outside and home alone for god knows how long. I wrote about them here and here.
The police came and the children were taken away. I learned that despite their small frames and young ages, they had already lived a difficult life: their parents were drug addicted and they had bounced around to far-flung family members who were overwhelmed and could not properly care for them. In their two bedroom apartment, there were three adults, two children and one infant. A 16-year-old aunt was charged with their care on this particular day.
Nothing will break your heart more than watching a five-year-old boy try to baracade himself between a door and the police officers he does not trust. He did not need a superhero costume pumped full of fake biceps to face his Goliath, all he needed was every adult he ever trusted to let him down.
When I was a Girl Scout leader, I had serious suspicions about the home life of one of the girls. As a mandatory reporter, I documented these suspicions and I talked to my co-leader. Strange men dropped her off for meetings, they slept at her house, people were always in and out, and her mother was facing illness after illness. This girl clung to the co-leader and told us, without us asking, that she did not want one of the men to take her on our trip to New York City. It was at this point that I contacted Child Protective Services with a heavy heart. My co-leader did not want me to do it; fearing the family’s potential stigma from a false report. I sympathized with her concerns, but ultimately I handed over my documentation and let the proper authorities make the ultimate decision.
I did what I had to do to protect that girl and those two children. I took action.
I am not a stand up citizen. I make bad decisions, I have parking tickets, I have horrible credit, I have made jokes at the expense of others, and I curse a lot. But when I die, here’s what cannot be said: I put myself before the safety of children.
You can never say that.
I can say that about Joe Paterno and I can also say it about former Penn State President Graham B. Spanier, former Athletic Director Tim Curley and Gary Schultz, a university vice president. And there’s a special place in Hell for Jerry Sandusky.
A few years ago I read The Lost: A Search for Six of the Six Million. It’s about the Holocaust. This is not a cliche reference. Please read this book one day because the overwhelming theme is this: the Holocaust did not happen because of Hitler and his minions. No, it happened — at its most simplistic — because a lot of good people turned the other way. They, in the moment, made the wrong decision. Without all of that silence, Hitler would never have been powerful. Without fear, six million Jews would never have died.
When alumni and current students and football fans chant “We are Penn State!!” they are good people making the wrong decision. Their screams and chants are in fact deafening silence for the victims. Of the true monstrosity of their university. When those same people defend Paterno and worship him in bronze, they look the other way at evil.
And I am not a God-fearing person.
But when someone knocks on my door for help, I answer.
You can read the 162-page Freeh report here.



and that why I am so very lucky to call you my friend – and know that I would do the same for you or anyone. we are best known not for what we do while people are looking – but for what we do when they aren’t. clearly, we all know what kind of man Paterno (and the rest) was when no one was looking.
hillary
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Great post. Over the years, I too, have made the decision to call 911 when I thought I was witnessing domestic violence or seeing a drunk driver, or calling CPS for a child. It’s not easy, but we have to do it.
Thank God for people who speak up. Daniel Mendelsohn’s book was incredible. Great post.
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You did the right thing, Liz. And then you wrote about it so beautiful. Nice post, Liz.
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I love what you did but have to disagree that when I chant “We are Penn State!!” I am making the wrong decision. I did not molest anyone. I did not cover anything up. In 1990 at eighteen years old I went to college. And I loved every minute of my four years at Penn State. Every single minute. I cheered for the football team. I cheered for the gymnastics team and the basketball team. I got a fabulous education and made friends whom I am still close with today. I like all alumni are hurting deeply now for multiple reasons. While I ache for those boys (now men) who were hurt, I do not nor will I ever believe that by caring deeply for alma mater is making a bad choice nor do I believe that it associates me personally nor any students or alumni with those bastards.
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Well said and I agree. I have stated from the beginning my disappointment in the folks who had the power and abused it. Penn State is more then this. Not everyone who says we are Penn State is saying it in support of Joe Paterno! I am Penn State for many more reasons then football or Joe Paterno.
Thank you for the polite disagreement.
Sure, Penn State is, obviously, more than four people. But the culture of Penn State needs to be held accountable for an ineffective board, false worship, and a student/alumni/community body that, when arrests were made, rioted AND continued to play football all while chanting “We Are Penn State!” That, in the moment, was a wrong decision. To not rally around the victims — even if the crimes were alleged at that time — was bad form and misplaced community spirit. You are so much more than Penn State. It’s a school, an experience, not a way of life. Just like our jobs do note define us, neither do our Alma maters.
Wonderful post—your strength and conviction is something that is hard to appreciate unless you’ve been in a situation that has tested it. I’m so happy that there are people like you out there who are willing to step in and speak up when they know that something is wrong and can be fixed.
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This was so perfect that I had to comment from my phone, which we’ve already agreed is a massive pain in the ass. Well said, especially with regard to the “We Are!” masses.
And that part about the 5 year old did break my heart.
I’m not a God-fearing person either, but if there is this hell that people talk about, with fire, pitchforks and guys with horns, dressed in all red, Paterno has to like it better there, instead of if he was still around here. He possibly has made out better dying, than having to be around to answer for all of this. His legacy can be erased.
Great post but let’s not forget there were 11 million killed in the Holocaust. I always get upset when people forget about the other 5, as if they didn’t matter.
I made a very negative comment on a blog that was lamenting Paterno’s death. How sorry she was for his family and Penn State. I got slammed in the comments because I said, “I feel sorry for all those children who suffered because of his negligence.” (and this was before the recent news came out, I just “knew” he was in on it)
I’m one of those people who crave fairness. And justice for all.
I have no children of my own.
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I, too, was reminded of the Holocaust, which I had the chance to study somewhat in depth in college, the more I read/heard about the report yesterday. As Elie Wiesel said, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”
Awesome post. You captured my feelings and beliefs about this situation perfectly.
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You wrote ” the Holocaust did not happen because of Hitler and his minions. No, it happened — at its most simplistic — because a lot of good people turned the other way. They, in the moment, made the wrong decision.” and I agree completely. This is another example of that exact situation, when decent people allowed a crime to be committed, and it was entirely the wrong decision.
There’s no doubt that you did the right thing in that moment. But doing the right thing in your situation has nothing at all to do with Penn State. It is true that Penn State was the location of some of these brutal crimes, and it was the place of employment for one monster and 4 men who did the wrong thing; I’ll won’t dispute that. But Penn State is so much more than you give it credit for.
Penn State is a community of millions of current and former students. Penn State is a world-class academic institution with some three hundred courses of study, dozens of athletic teams, and hundreds of non-athletic student activities. Penn State is the home of countless medical and scientific discoveries that have made our world a better place. Penn State is a philanthropic event that has raised tens of millions of dollars in the last 15 years to help kids with cancer. Respectfully, you’re dead wrong in saying pride in our school is synonymous with approval (or even celebration?!) of all the crimes that took place. It’s insulting. WE ARE so much more than that.
Thanks for commenting Tara and for disagreeing. We’ll agree to see this differently.
Of course the community of Penn State is more than four people, but it’s insulting to, given the circumstances, defend it without accepting the PSU culture’s culpability in hero worship, profit above all else, and Football Must Go On despite the destruction of so many young lives. Not to mention the tarnishing of a place/experience you hold dear.
However, defending Penn State right now is, in fact, the definition of insulting.
Paterno et al not only did the bare minimum but knowingly continued to let Sandusky use PSU as his personal grooming zone and sheltered him from police inquiry. Rather than defend, those who feel so strongly about their University should instead take their passion and commitment to a worthy cause that supports the victims rather than shout from the rooftop about the wonderfulness of their experience. Beyond the PSU community, it leaves a bad taste for everyone else at the very best.
This incident involved 5 employees out of thousands. I’m not defending the football program. I’m not defending Joe Paterno. I’m saying that football is one small part of what Penn State is, and it’s inaccurate to say anything else.
I don’t understand how defending an institution, a university, an experience can be insulting. It doesn’t make any sense to me. If you’ve never been a Penn Stater, then obviously you haven’t got a clue what being a Penn Stater is about.
There is nothing at all that is tarnished about my Penn State experience. Nothing. This crime had nothing to do with me, and, while it upsets me, there’s nothing I should personally do to help the victims. More than that, you don’t know anything about what I may or may not do to help people outside or inside the Penn State community.