This weekend I had the pleasure of realizing that another blogger jacked something from me.

Dude, really? Grow a pair of Fallopian Tubes and get your own shit. I would, however, like to thank you for boosting my already mammoth ego into the stratosphere.

[insert cartwheel here]

Why?

If other bloggers are stealing your byline, joke, tagline, whatever, it means you’re onto something. My mother said I should write a two-word email.

Cease and Desist were not the two words.

I will not do that.

This is about taking the high road of not engaging in cray, cray. Sure, I had my hand on the phone ready to dial up and make myself clear, but I stopped myself.

What would that accomplish? Isn’t imitation the sincerest form of flattery?

Sure, when you’re squinting.

This Interweb thing can feel awfully small. Incestuous even. Philadelphia often feels this way. This camp and that camp because of this issue with this and that person. It’s so mind numbing I want to pass out half the fucking time from boredom.

I don’t engage in petty squabbles or fire off emails or talk to PR reps about someone else’s bad behavior or the other 9 million ways there are to destroy reputations.

I already have a bad reputation, sweeties. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

*muah*

I am a loyal friend, fierce advocate, and all around genuine person. I’m not here to sell you a line of bullshit. That is not what I do.

What I do is tell It like It is. And having something stolen was a wake up call. It means I became predictable; that what I was going to say had already been said. It also means I need to be more careful about where I write my intentions.

Lesson duly noted.

What you see here is what you get, for better or worse.

For other bloggers I would say this: if you’re not pissing someone off or someone isn’t hating then you’re playing it too safe. This message can be misconstrued to back up all kinds of crazy. But here’s the difference: if you’re left standing . That’s the true test. The people who cause petty squabbles, steal, manipulate, play the victim and all of that other happy horse shit are the ones who burn themselves out. Vanish.

The rest of us will be here thanking the other ones for talking about little old us regardless of what’s said; any promotion is good promotion.

I love when I precede even myself.

So, thank you.