I don’t even know how I got there, but yesterday I came across Things I can’t Say About Blogging.
And I left with a heavy heart.
Readers were asked to submit their thoughts about blogging. That was the prompt. Completely simple. And what followed was an incredibly long list of submissions filled with self doubt. Here’s an example:
I always feel a few steps behind the social media curve. Making changes to the the html on my blog scares me via Deidre at JDaniel4′sMom
And another one:
Sometimes I catch myself basing my own self esteem off of my blogs stats. I know it’s horrible, and I need to stop checking them. I am better than a bunch of numbers via Jessica at Spit Up Chronicles.
Sure, I’ve felt the pinch every now and again, but PLEASE STOP DOUBTING YOURSELF!
Stop apologzing and trying to fit in. And then feeling bad about everything. More than that: stop feeling guilty and scared!
Specifically, don’t read this and feel bad about feeling bad.
Just stop.
Say to yourself today — in a very Jay-Z way — that you are the greatest. Then, proceed accordingly.
Walk around the house, like the picture says up there, like a fucking champion. Because, you know what, you are.
It takes a champion to carve out time for herself and creativity. It takes a champion to create a story. To learn something new. To be an active participant in change. To be a mass broadcaster. Even if that mass is 100 followers on Twitter or 40 on Facebook. Everyone has to start somewhere.
Even if you are “writing for yourself” that should lift your spirits. It should be enough. Why? When was, seriously, the last time you dedicated any time to yourself?
It’s not such a bad thing, right?
Any good writer writes. And writes a lot. So, on your worst day, chalk it up to that.
Finally, and I’m just going to use myself as an example here because I can, I used to check my stats every day and care about Klout and this and that and then one day I just stopped. I check Klout never. I check blog stats once a month. And I tweet, maybe, thrice per day.
I really need to work on the tweeting part. But otherwise, I am happy. I write, you find me, and the rest is butter.
If there is a post I wrote that I really believe in then I try and more people find me, but I’m not losing sleep over it. And I’m already a terrible mother, so I’ve got that covered.
Pretty please with a cherry on top, have fun out there.
I agree!
My husband (he’s an artist) just opened a small show in Houston. Now, he’s hungry for success: he wants more shows, he wants to find representation, he wants to make money from his art (which of course would fund more art-making), and so on. But with this show in Houston, I realized that in a way, he’s already “made it”. He’s showing his work. He’s making art. Yes, there’s more that he wants to do, but that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with where he is now.
BUT — when I try to apply this same line of thinking to myself and my writing, I must say it’s much, much harder to accept.
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We’re always our own worst critics, right? I co-exist in a space where I absolutely hate and unequivocally think I am the Best Thing Ever. So, in one hand I have a revolver to kill myself and the other I have an award.
Welcome to my Hell.
But awesomeness on the hubs. Two artists in one house? I have a feeling you know my kind of crazy all too well.
This is hard stuff to come to terms with… I used to be OBSESSED with my stats. Good stuff, though, Liz. I am going to encourage my blog to have more fun…maybe even some non-committal sex with other blogs.
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I have one night stands all the time. I’m such a blog whore.
You just inspired me to carry on with the ‘blog’ I started a couple of weeks ago; it may be just a bit of a personal vent diary or log of recent events but it has been helping me through a hard time – so thanks for this post!
“And I’m already a terrible mother, so I’ve got that covered.” I love this – I hope I can be as good a mum as you one day – it must take a lot not to lose yourself completely when such a demanding role is thrust upon you!
Big respect Liz for coping with recent changes to your life so valiantly!
x.
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Fantastic! I’m walking away from this post *singing* We are the CHAMPIONS at the top of my lungs:)
I said bye, bye, bye to Klout a long time ago. And threw up the *deuces* to checking my stats months before that. I tweet daily because I genuinely love tweeting to other folks and sharing. My blog’s Facebook page has 32 “likers” and I’m way cool with that. They’re some darn cool folks who I appreciate.
You are right on the money with this post. We, as bloggers, have to be our own biggest champions!
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
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I had 32 followers (because I hate using “fans”) on my facebook page for almost a year. Slowly but surely those numbers increase. But the Most Awesome People on the Internet are over on my FB page, all 225 of them. I love every single one of them.
I just hate to see so many women in one space hating on themselves. It so defeats the purpose. There’s not a right or wrong way to do anything. You have to find the way that works for you. The rest is Cracker Jack preaching and pirate guidelines.
Totally agree with you. I actually saw that post a while back and was also saddened, when I started blogging in 2008 I had no expectations other than to write. I feel like too many people start blogging now with expectations and it backfires.
Sure, I have the moments when I think damn, I should be further along, I should be making money with it or whatever but then I remember how I do this for me. For 4 years I have carved out time for myself and that is valuable and rewarding. Sure money and fame would be nice, but in the end I do it for me. That is the ultimate reward especially as a woman who is pressed for time.
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And now I remember how I came across it; your blog.
The Business of Blogging sucks all the awesome out of it. There are people who I really admire like Chris Brogan who can do both. I think I like Brogan so much because he’s always been so consistent about putting YOU into it with all the other stuff. Plus, he’s not a guy that goes now do this my way or you won’t succeed.
When I read these guys — and this is a very general statement — I never see them hating on themselves. Why do we have to be so doubtful? And openly so?
Thanks so much for this. I recently started a second blog and starting from scratch is so hard. The blog is about being a writer and since I’m always doubting if I’m a “good” writer that’s only adding to my trepidation. But this is the encouragement I needed. Thanks, again.
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So hard, but can it also be a freeing experience? Just wondering.
Great post. It is really true that blogging should be fun. When I was a new blogger, I have a doubt that whatever my readers don’t like my blog. But, I still continue my blogging and fortunately my blog site is still moving up. Thanks for your post. It is really a help a lot.
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Thanks for your post. It is hard to start blogging if you are just new with it and you are confuse if readers will love your blog or not. But I do love writing so much so I will just enjoy it.
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Blogging should be fun. In order to get success in blogging, it is important to enjoy the time you are writing contents for your blog and make sure you enjoy what you are doing. When you enjoy what you are doing, you can definitely say that blogging is fun.
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Blogging must be fun. In order for you can enjoy your blogging you must love what you are doing.
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